I took thousands of videos throughout my study abroad, pulling out my camera and pressing the red button to record my everyday life intending to create a diary of my trip. But as I rewatched them I am reminded of the unforgettable season of novelty, excitement, and a bittersweet time that I can never return to. I was not quite ready to conclude that chapter of my life.

If I had to choose to study abroad again I would do it in a heartbeat. I made amazing memories and met people from all over the world whom I would have never crossed paths for if I had not made that decision to go abroad. If you want to study abroad, DO IT! And perhaps, if you are contemplating reaching out to that one friend who is studying abroad right now, maybe my story will encourage you to do so.

For as long as I can remember it has always been a dream of mine to study abroad during my time in college. There was never a perfect time to go abroad, but I desperately wanted to venture out of my comfort zone. So, during the spring semester of my second year at university I decided to put a pause on my life and go to South Korea. 

While I contemplated going  to Japan or a European country, what ultimately guided my decisions were these questions:

• Q: Is this my only chance to experience living in the country?
  • A: I used to spend my summers in Japan and have gone to school there.
• Q: Am I interested in the culture or just the idea of the country?
  • A: I have become an avid fan of K-Dramas and K-Pop over the past few years. While I knew that reality would differ from what I see on the screens, it was the perfect opportunity to experience Korean culture. I am also currently studying communications at UCLA, and this experience would definitely deepen my understanding of media and communications on a global scale.‍
• ‍Q: Do I actually want to LIVE there or do I just want to travel?‍
  • A: Growing up as a Japanese and Chinese American from Oakland, I have always wanted to experience living in Asia.

Ultimately Korea was the perfect choice.

The First Half

February 22, 2024

I departed for my spring semester abroad in South Korea at Yonsei University. Upon landing, the bone-chilling cold wiped away any anxious nerves that I had been feeling and I was ready to start this new chapter in my life. 

“When in Rome, do as the Romans do” was the mindset that I had entering a new country. The first few weeks passed like a whirlwind - new friends, exploring town, karaoke, clubbing, darts, bowling, photo booths, late-night convenience store runs, and of course some school on the side. I tried the viral foods that I had seen on TikTok and purchased a new set of Korean skincare products at Olive Young. I started an exciting job as an intern at a Korean Skincare Company called OhMyBeloved. I even chose to join a K-pop dance club and the magic club in hopes of experiencing what locals do, both things that I would never have considered attempting at home. It was thrilling to have to put my limited Korean skills to the test. I made impulsive and last minute plans with my friends just because we could. I made unexpected friendships because something just clicked and I will forever cherish the connections I formed.

I experienced the seasonal transition from winter to spring. It was my first time seeing the season change so drastically, from snow to green, compared to home. Witnessing the cherry blossom season that transformed the city landscapes was truly a serene and breathtaking sight. It was a blissful season that only lasted a short period of a week, reminding me to appreciate the fleeting moments and live in the moment. Everything was fresh and exhilarating. 

A Check-In

Mid-April

I received a text from my friend checking in to ask how my study abroad was going. Instead of expecting the generic answer that it is all “fun” and “exciting” they asked for the real emotions that I was experiencing. Until reading that message I never attempted to process the time that had passed. 

“How has the experience been going so far? Like genuinely? Is it everything you dreamed of?”

I realized loneliness and FOMO had been lurking in the back of my mind. Not just about missing out on a college experience back home but even within my own study abroad experience. After finally adjusting to UCLA, where I had established friendships and found the clubs that I enjoy participating in, I decided to leave and dive headfirst into this adventure. Now I found myself caught in the familiar feeling of starting over. It was like experiencing a second freshman year, but this time, in a foreign country, thousands of miles away from everything I knew. I interacted with a majority of American study abroad students, so culturally there was little shock.

What I missed was the established connections, and the feeling of being grounded, and I was scared that my new friends were fleeting, maybe situational. I felt so disconnected from myself and my real life. Simultaneously, I was slowly establishing connections with them and falling into a comfortable routine, eating at the same restaurants that we like and doing the same activities that we know are fun. The fun and excitement were real, but so were the feelings of being lost. There was a constant tension: settling into a routine made me feel more at home, yet at the same time, I couldn’t shake the thought that I should be doing more, seeing more, or making the most of every moment. 

The Second Half

This simple check-in from my friend acted as a reminder that others must be experiencing similar feelings to mine. I wanted to explore more areas of Seoul, travel, and go out more often to make the most of my time. I was living there so obviously routine and responsibilities come with it, but there was no need to normalize anything. It gave me the encouragement to put myself out there once again. Determined to make the most of the remaining half of the time that I had left, I actively made plans with my friends, and reached out, talking to people in class, and mingling to make more friends.

I now scroll through my photo album, nostalgically reliving every moment. I attended the fan meeting of EXO, one of the first K-pop groups that I had gotten into. I performed my first, and last, K-Pop dance busking. I participated in an MT, the Korean version of a club retreat, and was thrown into several rounds of Korean drinking games. I went to Korea University’s festival (대동제) and tried a student-run pocha. I took trips with friends to Suwon and Busan, visited Everland, and even spent time at a Samoyed café. My days were filled with fun, I seized every moment, and just like the end. 

Studying abroad is like a fever dream. There has been no comparable experience to being on the other side of the world, in a foreign country, surrounded by people the same age who came from all over, and together exploring what the world has to offer. Saying goodbyes to my friends was perhaps the hardest thing I have done. If I ever return to Korea, walk the same streets, and go to the same places,  it will never be the same without those friends. I am forever grateful to them for helping shape my experience. I will remember the short time we spent and hope that in the future, we can one day meet up again.

I returned with a deeper sense of independence and a greater appreciation for living in the moment. Although this may seem like the obvious answer, some days I took the time to myself for a change of pace, and at times spent more time with those whose simple presence gave me the energy to keep going. Loneliness and FOMO are things that linger around but now, I feel more grounded in who I am and, in many ways, bolder and more adventurous.

Life keeps going, and as I get older and enter a new era these feelings of loneliness are probably going to cycle back. Having the steering wheel in my hands, I have to continue to learn about myself, and how I value friendships. Now maybe I am ready to edit my vlog, so I can remember every moment of that time.